The Power of One

I’m just one person.  I don’t have a lot of money or power.  I don’t even have a lot of time.  What can I do?

I can be obedient.  Like my daughter who prayed with the faith of a child.  She heard God tell her that our family should adopt.  “Maybe God meant your family when you are older,” we would say.  After all, our family is complete with three daughters and God is not telling me to adopt.  We have been through so much with the loss of my grandma and medical issues with two of our sweet girls.  And that was just last year’s problems. We don’t have to go back far to count our struggles.  We’re just discovering normal again.  Please, no more change my heat would cry to God.  But I can follow wherever you lead.

I will follow.  Even if it means going to Taiwan to get my son.  I didn’t want to leave my girls, but it was so obvious that God was taking me to this boy so I could take him home.  After all, his mother signed her rights to us while sitting in a restaurant with my husband after only knowing him for a few hours.  We passed our home study and the process went so fast.  Four months!  I may be only one person, but I can lead my son to my King.

I will lead.  Although he was almost seven, that boy fought to be a part of our family like I had never seen.  It was like he was always one of us.  Still, we have maintained a connection with his birth family in hopes of one day telling them the truth.  Maybe one day, we could tell a few people.  

Our son didn’t wait for one day.  He started telling the truth as soon as he knew it.  But not to his family.  He wrote a letter to a woman who was visiting us from Taiwan.  He told her about his King and begged her to know Him too.  This boy was too young to know that he was only one person.  Like most boys, he was fearless and unaware of the consequences.  I knew.  And so I prayed the prayers of a person who believed that I was just one person who still thought so small.

That woman who read the letter from our son prayed too.  She prayed to know the truth and met the King before she went back to Taiwan.  How wonderful, I thought!  She could tell her family!

She did tell her family.  And she told thousands of women.  She told the story of our son.  She told the story of his letter.  And she told the story of her King.  Many of those women left that night knowing the King.

The next day, she told me.  And I cried.  How could I have questioned the power of one?  I was right that I didn’t have much power alone.  Neither did a little boy or a new believer.  The power was in one King. 

I am thankful that He allowed me to be a part of this story.  I am thankful that He allowed me to learn through this experience.  I am thankful for the growth that my mustard seed experienced in that one year.

 

 

Brother Wanted

About two years ago, I started daydreaming about how cool it would be to have a brother.  A month later, I was still thinking about it a lot and even had a dream about it.  In my dream, a dark kid was sitting with us around our Christmas tree opening presents.  I wasn’t sure what to think, so I talked to my parents. I could have predicted what they were going to say. They told me, “ask God about it. If you spend time reading your Bible and praying, you will know.”  So I did that and it became even clearer.  I went back and told them my results.  Again they said, “ask God about it.”  It just so happened that we had already decided to take a mission trip to Taiwan that year.  So after I asked God about it again, we went to a meeting for the Taiwan group.  After the meeting, I went to talk to the pastor about adopting since talking to my parents wasn’t going anywhere.  All he had to say was “maybe you are going to adopt when you are an adult.”  I didn’t think so, so I went back to praying.  By now it was the beginning of July. 
One morning my parents made breakfast for us.  After prayer they asked us what we thought of adopting.  After a while of talking they told us that a good friend, who was in the Taiwan group, had e-mailed us that there was a 6-year-old boy in Taiwan that needed a home.  When I heard that I felt that God was yelling “here’s you answer!”  I knew that we would be bringing him home.  My parent still did not believe me.  Since the trip was only 2 weeks away, my dad said that we could think about it and see the boy.  Fast forward 2 weeks and I got off my first airplane ride.  We went straight to the orphanage where the little boy Guan Guan lived.  I loved him at first sight. He and the other orphans got me involved in a mixed-up game of keep away and tag. It was such a fun experience.  Over the course of the trip I went to a swimming pool, night market, park and beach.  At the beach Guan Guan’s aunt came and talked with my dad about adopting him.  After a while, my dad came into the water and told me we were going to start the adoption process.  I was so excited that I fell underwater.  Every time after I saw him I thought, “he is going to be my little brother.”  Once I got home my family started getting things ready.  I will be honest - the whole adoption process was stressful and hard.  I had a very hard time giving up my own bedroom.  I couldn’t find someone to talk to about the process of adopting, so I had no idea what to expect.  A social worker came to our house and talked to me about what I thought about having a brother. Although it seemed like forever, our adoption was only 4 months long and that is actually very fast.  About 4 or 5 days before Christmas my family was in our kitchen making breakfast and my mom all called us to come to the table. We all gathered around her as she read the e-mail that Guan Guan was ready for my parents to come and get him.  I was so overjoyed! I felt like screaming and crying and jumping for joy all at once. 


The day I met my brother in Taiwan

The day after Christmas my sisters and I were dropped off at Grandma’s house.  My mom and dad flew to Taiwan to complete their paperwork and spend a couple of days getting to know Guan Guan.  They were gone for almost 2 weeks.  Those were probably the most impatient weeks I ever had.  Finally, on January 10, friends of ours came to take us to the airport to meet our brother. I ran down the airport halls at 11:00 pm trying to find the gate that my parents were at. I practically attacked them when I found them!  We brought Guan Guan home and showed him his room, but it didn’t feel real that he was with us.   I will never forget the first 2 months or so we would have to stay in his room for a while every night and my mom couldn’t leave Guan Guan because he was afraid that we would not come back.  It just broke my heart that he would feel that way.  I was happy when he learned enough English that we could tell him that we love him and that we would never leave him.  As hard as it has been getting used to having a brother and working through his past, it is all worth it in my heart to know that know he doesn’t have to worry about any of that now.

Adoption Update

It's been almost five months since we brought Alex home, so it seems to be time for an update.  When we considered adoption (less than a year ago), one of our biggest concerns was how a six-year-old boy would fit into our family.  It took Alex no time at all to rid us of that concern.  Even with his limited English, he gets our family's sense of humor.  He also loves to do most anything we are doing, whether it's cuddling on the couch to watch a movie, ride bikes, or go farming with Grandpa.  Speaking of English, Alex has a firm grasp of the language with minor grammar issues and a vocabulary just like most other six year-olds.  People who meet him now don't even realize that English is his second language.  Bonding has also been a huge success for us.  Alex gives hugs and kisses all day long, especially to me.  The words "I love you" come almost daily now and we have learned to appreciate that he says it when he means it rather than just because it's the thing to say at that moment.  On Mother's Day, Alex got his piggy bank and asked AJ to take him to the store.  They came back with a cute arrangement of carnations and a card on which Alex wrote "I love you."  I will treasure that forever.

Another big success for Alex has been his academics.  He does well with his school work, usually completing his work quickly and accurately.  He reads English fairly well, as well as appropriate for a first grader.  His penmanship is beautiful and he enjoys writing stories in his journal.

Two issues came up after we brought Alex home, neither of which were anticipated.  The first was when we took him to his own bedroom the first time.  At the orphanage, all of the boys sleep on the floor in one big room.  For some time, our family gathered in Alex's room at bedtime each night to sing, tell stories and pray until he fell to sleep.  During the night, he woke and came into our room where he slept on the floor.  In the last couple of months, he has progressed to the point that we sometimes gather in the girls room and sometimes in his room.  He is comfortable with getting in his bed alone and waiting for us to tuck him in and he rarely makes it into our room during the night.

The other issue we are still working on is his desire to play.  Looking back on his time in the orphanage, the children spent most of their day at school.  If they weren't at school, then they were on an excursion, watching television or playing video games on the computer.  This has especially been a problem on school days because Alex finishes his school work quickly and has more free time than the girls who take longer on their work.  He is starting to enjoy playing with his cars, drawing and reading for fun. 

Our blessings are abundant and we count Alex as one of those blessings.  He adds so much to our family with his sweet personality and precious laughter.  Dinner is one of my favorite times of the day because we all sit and talk, usually much longer than the food lasts on our plates.  I'm looking forward to many more years with our daughters and son.

Below are some pictures from Alex's birthday party last weekend.  When asked what he wanted for his birthday, he answered, "a Cars party at church with cake."  How can I say no to that?

Singing Happy Birthday

Alex's favorite gift - a skateboard from Grandma & Grandpa

After the party, we went to a nearby park for a train ride.

Not everyone is called to adopt, but we are all called to help orphans.  We couldn't have adopted Alex without help from the Project Nic Fund.  The guidance, support and financial contributions were integral in bringing Alex to our home.  For Alex's birthday, we would love for you to make a contribution of any size to this worthy project.  In addition to helping with adoptions, the Project Nic Fund is supporting a home in China for children whose lives are impacted by AIDS.  When you click on the link, go to the "Give Online" tab.  You will have the opportunity to specify "Project Nic" in your donation.

Visas, Court Dates and Christmas...Oh My!

There is so much to say about our adoption process...so much that I can barely wrap my head around everything!  I decided it would be best to simply update our status and get to the rest another time.  On the American side, we are waiting for the I600A to come back.  This is the preliminary application for the visa.  As part of this application, we must be fingerprinted again and all of our documentation up to now will be reviewed.  I'm not so sure how long this takes, but we have friends who are about a week ahead of us in this process so we watch them closely to know what's coming next.  On the Taiwan side, we just received a court date.  It isn't until December 2nd, which is later than we hoped.  Apparently a home study must be done on our son and his birth mother, which takes 45 days.  Our attorney is working to get this portion of the process hurried, but we don't know know if this will happen.  If the court date is December 2nd, we can loosely plan to bring home our son in early January, a month sooner than we had been told at the beginning of the process.

As much as we would like to have our son home for Christmas, January is good too.  Our calendar is packed through 2011 and there would be some serious logistical issues if we go to Taiwan before January (though we would joyfully make it work).  January will be a calmer time when we can devote more attention to a new family member and help him to adjust to our way of life.  From what I am told by several people (including my husband and daughter), our son is shy and slow to warm to new things.  Christmas in our home would quite possibly overwhelm him, though we have already made plans for a simpler celebration this year.  Chinese New Year is in January and that would be fun for all of us to celebrate together every year as a remembrance of our new son coming to our home.  As with the rest of the process, it will all happen in God's perfect timing.  Until then, we will be preparing our home for the arrival of a little boy.

Home Study

So much changes through the adoption process that it makes my head spin!  One day I think I have it all figured out and then the next day everything is different than what I thought.  One almost-constant aspect was the home study.  The big change was that we do not need to complete it for Taiwan as originally expected.  I'm not exactly sure why we don't need it, but I'm told it has something to do with our little boy's age.  In any case, I wasn't really sure what to expect and I would like to share our experience to help those behind us in the process.

We chose a social worker based on the recommendation of friends.  She has done several home studies for other church members and they went well, so we decided that she would meet our needs.  After contacting her, she emailed the following forms to complete:

• Employment References


• Educational References (which we didn't need because our kids are homeschooled)


• Medical Evaluations (for every member of the home)


• Income/Expense/Financial Worksheets


• An autobiography written by each of us addressing our upbringing, hobbies, lifestyle, etc.

In addition, we had to provide the following documents:

• Marriage Certificate


• Birth Certificates for every child currently in the home


• Criminal Record (fingerprinting by local law enforcement)


• Last 3 pay stubs from each of us

During the interview, she asked many questions.  She asked about our parenting styles, our marriage and relationship, how we handle disagreements, and how we would handle any special needs our child may have.  She then asked each of the girls about themselves and what they thought of us adopting.  After that, the social worker took a quick walk around the house and asked how we will accommodate our new family member.  She spent about 1 1/2 hours at the house and then asked us to complete a form for a child abuse background check.  With that complete, she left and let me know that we would hear back from her in a couple of weeks.

I was very relieved to have that part out of the way.

Moving Forward Inch By Inch

Well, our autobiographies weren't written as fast as we would have liked, but they are now complete.  Also, two of the five references are in the mail.  Today, two more items were added to our checklist.  We need to get a Power of Attorney for our lawyer in Taiwan and physicals for everyone in our family.  The good news is that two of our five family members already had appointments for annual check ups, one of which is tomorrow.  I am so grateful for our friends who are about five steps ahead of us in this process.  They have helped greatly in guiding and encouraging us along. 

Welcome Home Daddy

Our daddy and biggest sister arrived home at 1 am this morning from Taiwan.  They brought small gifts home for the rest of us which they gave us before we all went to bed.  They weren't tired as it was 2 m in Taiwan, but the rest of us needed sleep so we all went to bed.  This morning we looked at some of their pictures before heading to an office to be fingerprinted.  This is the first of two times we will be fingerprinted.  We also looked through some pictures of our little boy as a baby which his mother sent home with my husband.  Tonight we will be working on requesting references from a few friends and writing our autobiographies, all for the home study.  No time for jet lag, there's a boy to bring home!

What's in a Name?

Because of some events in our lives, we had a girl's name chosen before we were even married. During my first pregnancy, we never had an ultrasound, so knowing the baby's gender wasn't an option. We struggled with coming up with a boy's name and ended up deciding that the baby would be a junior if it was a boy.  Well, it was a girl.  With my second pregnancy, we had ultrasounds but chose not to know the baby's gender.  Again, we easily came up with a girl's name but no boy's name.  Our daughter is as lovely as her name.  With my third pregnancy, we were told throughout the pregnancy that it was a boy but we never settled on a name that we loved.  That was OK because it was another girl (the doctor admitted he may have been incorrect about a month before she was born). 

When we contemplated adopting our little boy, we went back and forth about changing his name.  We learned that what we thought was his name is, in fact, only a nickname.  His Chinese name sort of translates into a very common American name, but he doesn't go by either name.  He is only known by his nickname.  Although his American name isn't a top choice for my husband or myself, we decided to use his American name as his first name and his nickname as his middle name.  We chose this for a couple of reasons.  We wanted him to have an American name to represent his new home, but a Chinese name to retain his culture.  We also wanted him to feel connected to his old life but have an option when he is older.  By giving him the American derivative of his real name and the nickname he has always known, we are addressing all of these desires.  Of course, now we are second-guessing that choice.  Ahhh...how long do we have to decide? I'm afraid it won't be long enough!

Unexpected Blessings

I always wanted to be a wife and mommy.  Not long after my husband and I were married, we were told that we would have difficulties getting pregnant.  For that reason, I stopped taking oral contraceptives (which had been prescribed for medical reasons) and expected to wait for a baby.  The wait didn't last long because we were surprised with a pregnancy the same month.  I went back on the medication after our daughter was born, but stopped a year later hoping for another pregnancy.  This one didn't happen as quickly.  It took long enough in fact that we looked into foster parenting and adoption.  Before we got far enough to do paperwork, we found out that I was again pregnant with another girl.  This pregnancy was difficult but we were thrilled to be blessed with another girl.  By the time she was just over a year old, we decided that I would talk to the doctor about making some changes so I could stop taking the medication.  At my appointment, the doctor found that I was again blessed with a pregnancy!  We were speechless!  Honestly, I figured that two children would be good for us and it took me some time to get used to having another.  Over the past six years, we have enjoyed watching our three girls grow into lovely young ladies.  Although we have occassionally pondered the "what if's" of another child, it has not been a burning desire of ours.  Several of our fellow church members have recently adopted and we have been very happy for them, but my husband and I have also enjoyed our family as it is.  Our daughters, on the other hand, have been praying for months about adopting a brother or sister.  In June, a church member contacted us about a little boy needing a home.  He lives at a children's home in Taiwan and must either be adopted or moved into foster care due to his age (six years old).  Coincidentally, my husband and oldest daughter (now 11) were planning a trip to Taiwan with our church to help out two other churches there.  After much prayer, we decided to hold off on a decision until my husband made a side trip to meet the little boy.  We were leaning towards a yes by this time, but wanted to know how the boy felt about being adopted.  By the time the group left for Taiwan, plans changed with one of the churches and they had a week to fill.  Of all things, the leaders chose to put on a summer camp at the home where this little boy lives.  The day my husband met him, he sent me a text message saying, "start the paperwork."  I know of many families who have a surprise baby, but not many have four.  I am so thankful for each of my blessings!

Flowers for a Family

For those of you who heard the rumors, they are true.  Somewhat.  Yes, we are expecting a boy.  No, I am not pregnant.  We are adopting a not-so-little (6-year-old) boy from Taiwan.  I plan to tell the story on my blog over the next few months because we are only a month into this process and it has already been an amazing journey.  This post is not to tell the story, but to ask for your prayers and love.  This little boy needs a home and family and we would love to welcome him into ours.  To raise funds to cover the many costs associated with his adoption, my daughters and I are making paper flowers like the one below.  We can make these 3" beauties into lapel pins or hair clips and the colors are limitless.  If you can bless us by praying, ordering flowers, or sending this along to your friends, we would be so grateful!  You can place your order at http://curlsandgrins.weebly.com/cards--announcements.html. Thanks so much!