Winners from the Back to School Party

Thank you all for stopping by this week! Congratulations to all of the winners from our Back to School Party! They are:

Tastefully Simple It's That Simple Kit - Melissa

Simply Said Vinyl Decal - Mary

Thirty One Tote - Annie

Jamberry Wraps - Rose

Manna360 samples - Tara & Melissa

Book of Questions - Tara

My Crush Assortment - Annie

All winners were chosen by random.org. Please email your address to forsuchaseason {at} yahoo {dot} com by Saturday, September 7th or another winner will be chosen. Thank you again to all of our sponsors who are posted at www.facebook.com/forsuchaseason!

Back to School Party Giveaway #6 - Book of Questions

We started For Such a Season because we realized that it’s important to record our memories to share with our loved ones. The matriarch of our family passed away a couple of years ago and we are blessed with the many journals and stories she wrote. However, we’d love to have a video of her, telling those stories in the way that only she can do. Who would you like to have a video of? Tell us for your chance to win our Book of Questions that we use when interviewing clients. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to School Party Giveaway #5 - Manna360 Sample

My husband and I like to live an active lifestyle with our kids. As part of our healthy diet, we use Manna360, a nutritional supplement found at anourse.manna360.com. Comment below which flavor you would choose for your chance to win a sample of Manna360. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to School Party Giveaway #4 - Vinyl Decal

If you could put one saying on your walls that sums up your life, what would it be? Anne @ Simply Said is giving away a vinyl design and it could be yours. Tell me where you’d use vinyl in your home for your chance to win a vinyl design. Also, be sure to checkout all of her designs at www.mysimplysaiddesigns.com/annem

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to School Party Giveaway #3 - Tastefully Simple Dinner

Sometimes dinner time is the moment I want to forget, but often our family has the best conversations once we all get around the table. Trina @ tastefullysimply.com/web/tengle3 is offering "It's that Simple" includes Bountiful Beer Bread Mix, Perfectly Potato Cheddar Soup Mix for her prize that is sure to have your family creating some tasty memories around the dinner table. Share your favorite quick dinner for your chance to win this mix. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to School Party Giveaway #2 - Jamberry Nails Kit & Wraps

Ashley @ Jamberry Nails is one of our sponsors tonight. One of my favorite times growing up was climbing in my mom’s bed to do manicures. What’s your favorite growing up memory? Ashley is giving away an application kit and half sheet of nail wraps. Tell me when your last manicure was for your chance at this fun prize. Be sure to check out her siet at www.abramble.jamberrynails.net! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to School Party Giveaway #1 - Thirty One Organizing Tote

It’s not just our families that we celebrate memories with. Jodine @ Thirty One shared that she is blessed to be working for such an amazing company! She went to Thirty one's National Conference and said it was a life changing experience for her personally & for my business!! Who (outside of your family) do you enjoy making memories with? Comment here for your chance to win a organizing utility tote in the new fall print. Jodine is also offering discounts for every 35.00 you spend in August and you can choose any purse for 50% off including 7 new styles! Take a look at www.thirtyone.com/jshafer! a Rafflecopter giveaway

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My husband loves to tell stories and our kids love to hear them.  It's a win-win situation.  My mother-in-law passed away while my husband and I were dating, but we were determined that her grandkids would know about her.  Every year on her birthday, we make a special dinner and a cake.  We linger at the table and my husband and I tell stories about her.  We would show photos, but we have very few of her.  Our kids have memorized the few that we have because they are on display throughout our home. 
Like most people, I don't enjoy having my picture taken.  When I think of my in-laws (both passed away when we were young), I willingly get in front of the camera so my children and grandchildren can have some visual reminders of our memories.  Whether my family chooses to celebrate my birthday is up to them, but I want to give them something to hold on to.

Embarrassing Moments

We all have had them, those embarrassing moments in our lives. You know what I am talking about. It’s those situations when you try to call on some non-existing super power to make yourself invisible. The other day I was talking with a friend and we were laughing about dumb things we had done in the past. Then the subject changed slightly and we began to talk about things that have happened in our past that embarrassed us.

I told my friend about a football game I attended when I was a freshman in high school. First, I have to say that like most high schools, Friday night football games were the place to be and be seen. This is especially true for the yearly Homecoming game. As a freshman, this was my very first Homecoming. Also, like most high school girls I had a crush on a boy that was on the football team. He and I had been friends for years, but he had a crush on this other girl.  However, I was determined to get his attention. And I did get his attention that night.

Friday after school, I met up with five of my girlfriends at one of their homes. Our plan was to get all dressed up, do our hair, makeup and attend the game together. As freshmen we had that pack mentality, power in numbers. The six of us did just about everything together. We met in Jr. High and had been friends for over two years at this point.  We were not the cheerleader popular crowd, but we all had each other’s back.

The fashion back then was blue jeans, bright colored tops, 2 inch dress heels, lots of eye makeup, pale pink lipstick and long hair that the girls would pin up and place a pre curled wig-lit over. We had all brought our stuff to this one friend’s house that morning and left it there during the day so we would have everything we needed for the big game that night. My friend’s mom made us all something to eat as we worked on ourselves and each other for this major event.

By the time we were ready to walk the few blocks to the game we were all dolled up and felt beautiful. Wish I had a picture of that night to look back on, but the picture that is ingrained in my mind, while not perfect, always brings a smile to my face. The time was finely right for us to make our entrance. As we walked through the bleachers we felt like social butterflies. We stopped and made sure to say hello to everyone as we found our seats, the forth row up on the 50 yard line.

My sister was a junior and on the pep squad. She hung out with the popular older crowd. She came over to where we were sitting and asked if I would hold her stuff. She carried one of the letters in our school’s name. Just before halftime all the pep squad gathered on the track to go out on the football field. During normal games, the football team would go to the locker room. But since this was Homecoming, the football team gathered on the track to watch the Homecoming Queen get escorted and crowned.

As all of this was going on I see my sister wave at me in a panic and I realized she had forgotten to take her letter with her onto the field. I grab the letter, which was about 2 feet wide by 3 feet tall, and I made a mad dash, in 2 inch heels, down the bleachers, along the rail, down the 5 or so steps onto the track and ran as fast as I could to the middle of the football field’s 50 yard line. There I stood under the bright stadium lights, in the middle of the football field, on Homecoming night, in front of the entire football team, coaches, parents, teachers, students, pep squad, band and all I hear is this roar of laughter. I handed my sister her letter and as she takes it from me she points back to the track about 25 yards away and I turned to look, thinking whatever was going on had to be very funny.

In an instant my life changed. There was some teacher holding a gob of hair in her hands and at that moment without a second thought I reached up to touch my head only to feel bobby pins, no wig-lit. The crowd roared. There was nowhere to hide. No way to undo what had just happened. I ran to the teacher to collect my hair. As I reclaimed it I noticed the two guys in the ambulance were doubled over, laughing so hard that they were wiping their eyes. There was no way I could go back and sit in the bleachers. I ran to the bathroom holding my hair and wishing I could become invisible.

At that moment in time I was sure my life was over. I would never be able to show my face at school again, how would I survive?. But my girlfriends showed up and we all walked back to my friend’s house where we spend the night together. At first my friends tried to make me feel better, and by the end of the night we were all laughing about it. I am pleased to say that I am still in touch with some of those friends. Looking back, if that would have been the worst thing that ever happened in my life, I would have been one lucky girl.    https://www.facebook.com/ForSuchASeason

Five Events - Five Stories

When I was growing up, many adults would talk about where they were when the found out that President Kennedy had been assassinated.  I remember when the Challenger exploded, but I didn't appreciate how defining such a moment could be until September 11, 2001.  There are events that take place in our world that leave an impression as long as we live.  Whether they happen to us personally or we feel the impact from a distance, they define who we are and how we think.  How do we help the next generation feel these moments?  By telling our stories.

• Take a few minutes to make a list of five such events.  Again, they can be big or small events.  The point is that they left a big impression on you.
• Set aside a block of time to document one of those events.  The depth depends on what you want to invest. My husband buys the newspaper on those big days and saves the article.  With Google, you can download pictures and articles from just about anything.  Take a few minutes to get your thoughts down as well.  Share why this is significant to you.  My grandpa isn't a writer, so he would tell me the stories and I wrote them down.  This process has been just as meaningful as the stories themselves.
• Repeat the previous step until you have documented the events on your list.
• Put everything together in one place and let the people important to you know where it is.  Whether they are in a binder, journal, scrapbook, box or computer file, someone needs to know where to find them.  

So what are your five events?

Slow Down You're Moving To Fast

Seems like every year the media and retailers roll out Christmas earlier than the year before. This year right around 4^th of July, the Hallmark channel had an entire weekend of Christmas movies. It feels like the older I get the faster time goes by and I think I have figured out why. When I was younger I looked forward to each holiday and season. But any more, the media and retailers are months ahead. By the time the actual holiday or season arrives I am ready to get it over with and move on to the next.

I was with my daughter and one of my granddaughters last month and we stopped at a store to pick up some craft supplies. It was July and they had their Fall, Halloween and Thanksgiving displays all set up in the front of the store.  The first thing I thought of was that in a few months those days would be upon us. Then I snapped out of it and reminded myself that it was just the first full month of summer. No wonder time seems to fly by.  Christmas movies and Thanksgivings decorations in July, I guess I should be looking for the Spring vacation commercials to begin in September.

The stores already have summer clothes on sale and the new Fall clothing out on the hangers. There is no more living in the moment. It’s always what’s next.  I remember that on New Year’s Eve we would look forwards to the Rose Parade on New Year’s Day. Then the next week we would return to school. Around the 1^st of March I would realize my birthday would be coming up and would make plans. A few weeks later Easter Vacation rolled around. We never called it “spring break”, it was always Easter week. I would make plans with my friends to spend the week at the beach as much as possible. But Easter day was always a family holiday with a ham and all the side dishes. Sometime in the middle of May we would talk about plans for Memorial Weekend. The first two weeks of June seemed to be the longest. They were the last days of the school year. Those two weeks alone felt like a year. Lots of studying and tests then summer finally arrived.

Summers appeared endless. Sleep overs at friend’s houses, weekend trips to Colorado River water skiing, and days at the beach surfing and sunbathing. There was always a 4^th of July BBQ somewhere and a parade, long lazy days lying out at the pool listening to music and then one last long Labor Day weekend at the beach.  A day or so before school started my mom would take us to the store and we would buy a few new outfits to begin the new school year off with. There were no big back to school sales or school supplies to buy. If we needed a new notebook we would get one, but most of the time it was a package of 3 ringed paper to put in the same notebook we used last year.

We always had a 3 day weekend in October for Columbus Day and the last week of October we would take notice of what day Halloween fell on and either plan to go to Knott’s Berry Farm or to a party at a friend’s house. In November we would have a 3 day weekend for Veteran’s Day. Thanksgiving never entered our minds until the weekend before when we would go shopping with our mom and she would buy a turkey. We would spend Thanksgiving with all our family, eat until we were full, watch some football, then eat some more.

 I don’t remember Christmas commercials on TV until the end of the first week in December. Christmas lights would begin to go up on house and decoration in yards about two weeks before Christmas. That is about the time Christmas trees would start to appear as well. Two week for Christmas shopping was more than enough time. 

We had two weeks off of school for Christmas. With any luck there would be some snow in the mountains and we could spend our time skiing. The stores were crowed but people were not rude or pushy. There were a lot of sales, nonetheless stores were well stocked and there were no Black Friday’s or “door busters” that caused riots. The day after Christmas, the tree came down and life returned to normal until New Year’s Eve when I would get together with a bunch of friends and go sit out on a cold curb all night in Pasadena drinking hot chocolate waiting for the Rose Parade to begin.  And the year had come full circle.

Looking back it is as if we lived a lifetime in each year. Instead of the way it feels now, that we are living a year in a month’s time. Now days it seems as if everything is done at warped speed. It is as if we go thought twelve months is a few weeks. We never seem to live in the present or enjoy the moment. We have become media and retail driven. So the next time you wonder why things seem to be moving so fast take a step back and cease the day.               https://www.facebook.com/ForSuchASeason

Take Control Of Your Life

My Bachelor’s degree is in Behavioral Science. It is a combination of Psychology and Socialogy. Even though I graduated eons ago, there are lessons I learned that I carried with me throughout life. We all have those people in our lives that seem to have a life full of drama and spend whatever time you have with them talking about their issues. Some of them are insecure; we all have a little insecurity. But, there are those people that truly believe that the world is out to get them. Other people have low self-esteem. We all question ourselves now and then but in the end we believe in ourselves. Then there are those that appear to be oblivious to the entire world and feel as if they are the center of the universe. Each of these groups of people are often referred to as toxic.

I read a book by Carlos Castaneda, The Fire from Within, not long ago. A quote from that book popped out: “Self-Importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it—what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”

Most people attempt to go out into the world wearing a strong mask. It is the first thing they put on every day. It is their defense. When they step out the door, they are ready for battle, looking for a battle. They are always on guard, on the defense. They often come across as if they have a high level of self-importance. But in reality they are actually very weak. Our only defense to these people is to remember that we are in control of how we chose to react to their them. It would be nice if we could just rid them out of our lives. But the reality is that we can't. They maybe family members, co-workers, customers or others that we have to inter-act with in our lives. But we can control how we react to them.

We use our own experiences as a base of how we think others should behave. It is as if we hold up a mirror whenever we interact with others and expect them to act as we would. Over the years we have built up a set of guidelines that we live by that are based on our past experiences and influences. When others go against the way we think, it often results in us getting disappointed or irritated. It is often difficult for us to take a step back from the situation. This is especially hard when the other person seems unreasonable. It is at that split second in time that we often fall into the other person’s drama and unwillingly give them control over our actions.

By doing that we are playing right into their hand and enforcing their self-imposed right to be defensive, hurt, miss-understood or indignant. They are using us to give them that “fix” they are looking for to justify their the way they view themselves. They need us to react in a certain way and they often will try to push us in a direction in an attempt to get the reaction they are looking for. They do not want us to see that they have any weaknesses, are vulnerable or have flaws. They are toxic.

I use to feel as if I always had to be heard and understood. When I felt as if someone was not giving me the attention that I deserve or at the very least taking the time to hear my side, I would find that I would lose my tempter, get more pushy, louder and demanding. Most of the time, at the end of the day, I would replay the situation over and over again in my head. I could not comprehend why others did not understand me. I wondered why every day seemed like a struggle. I wondered what was wrong with everyone else. I felt miss-understood and wondered why I never seemed to make any progress in achieving the life I wanted. When the truth was that I never took the time to sit down and set priorities and clear goal to focus on. I didn't realize that I was toxic.

I don’t know exactly when in my life all that changed, but thankfully it did. I learned to have clear attainable goals and that it was not important to win or be right all the time. It was more important for me to find my focus, take control of the direction I wanted my life to go in and to tune out all the noise that use to distract me. I learned the art of “kill them with kindness”. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt. But most importantly I learned that I have complete and total control over my actions and reactions. Now when one of those toxic people cross my path, I pick my battles. There is a lot to be said about that old saying “sticks and stones”.

I know who I am and it does not matter if everyone else knows or understands me. I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. I am at peace with myself. I refuse to allow anyone to drag me into their drama. I stand up for myself when the issue is important to my personal goals and walk away when it’s not. I do my best to keep toxic people at arms length. I live in the reality that not everyone is going to like me and that not everyone is going to be my best friend. Now when I come in contact with a person that is toxic, I take a deep breath and make sure my reaction is in line with my goals and avoid falling into their drama.

https://www.facebook.com/ForSuchASeason

Setting Goals

At the beginning of each school year, our parents sit down with each of us kids to discuss the coming year.  There are two parts to this meeting - setting goals and signing an educational contract.  Neither meant a lot to me until this year.  Today I will share about goals and I hope that next week you will want to hear about the contract.

I know my mom and adult leaders plan, but the idea of goals was more than I wanted to wrap my head around until recently.  I have always been the kid who is still finishing up the year's work in July while my sister is enjoying a break because she finished her work early.  Honestly, a couple of times I've wondered if I'd get my work complete in time to attend summer camp.  Thankfully, my last-minute scrambling have always paid off and I've finished in the nick of time every time. 

This year was different.  Something clicked in the spring and I realized that if I do an extra math lesson, even every other day, then I'd at least finish on time.  Oh, was that a goal I just set?  I shocked my parents by doing lessons on the weekends and some evenings.  Before I knew it, May was here and I was at the end of the book!  To reward me for finishing so early, my mom let me take a few weeks off of math while I finished out the school year.

In the extra time that I had to think while I wasn't doing math, I realized that I could take this finishing early thing to the next level.  I calculated that I could easily finish each math level in 8 months.  What if I took a short break at the end of each level and then moved on without waiting for the next year to begin?  I could complete high school math during 10th grade and take college classes during 11th and 12th grades! 

Now that it clicked for me, I want to take a minute to share with you a couple of things about our goal-setting.  We write three goals each year: academic, behavioral/social and personal.  Each goal is written in our journal like this:

• Goal
• Why it's important
• Steps I will take to achieve it
• Help I will need
• When I plan to accomplish it

My mom made this to help us in our goals:

So what are your goals this year?