Home At Last

In our adoption preparations, I read many books and spoke to even more people about how to prepare for our homecoming.  We were prepared for things like nightmares, defiance, temper tantrums, problems eating, and all sorts of scenarios when we picked up our son and especially when we brought him to our home.  I did not expect love or affection or even smiles from this boy because I did not want to set myself up for disappointment.  We were not prepared at all for what actually happened.  Tears are running down my face as I type this.  In the week we have been home, we have seen huge smiles, experienced belly-ache laughter, and listened to this boy joke with his sisters and new friends.  We have a boy who eagerly completes his English lessons and asks for more.  Today he played his first basketball game after one practice and scored!  Then he got a haircut with his daddy.  Often he cuddles up with us or gives us hugs at random moments.  He proudly shows us things he has created and completes his schoolwork quickly and accurately.  And, he told me he loves me at bedtime a few nights ago. 

I'm not blind, I know there will be troubles as with any child.  However, I do appreciate the gift we have in our son and the expected hurdles we didn't have to face.  I am thankful for the blessings that God continues to pour on our family.  I am also thankful for your prayers.

New Year's Celebration

As much as I love tradition, our family doesn't really have any traditions for New Year's Eve. For a few years while we were dating, my husband and I went to Pasadena for the Rose Parade.  For a few years, we went to a friend's house for a huge dinner with several families.  For Y2K, we planned to be at my mom's house in Missouri and ended up at my brother-in-law's house in California due to a family emergency.  Last year, we started what we expected to be an annual tradition - a big dinner at our house with family and friends.  On December 31, 2010, we had no idea that God would turn our world upside down like He is so good at doing and exactly one year later we would find ourselves in Taipei, Taiwan picking up our newly-adopted son on New Year's Eve.

Our adoption would not be possible without our friends and family, but especially our church family.  Our church has a heart for orphans like I have never experienced.  Several families in our church have adopted, locally and internationally.  Through this desire to help the orphans, our church created Project Nic.  This is more than just a fund for families to use for adoption expenses, though it definitely does serve that purpose.  It is also a network of people who have adopted or just want to help walk families through this oh-so-confusing process.  Because of Project Nic and the people behind it, this little boy was put into our lives in July and we will be bringing him home in a matter of days. 

As you consider your New Year's celebrations, would you consider helping Project Nic give another orphan a home and family to call his own?  So many families like ours would love to bring a child into their home and call him their own, but the cost of the adoption itself is standing in their way.  If we work together, we can bridge that gap.

You can click here to donate or get more information to mail in your donation.  Make sure to designate your donation for Project Nic.  Your donations to Project Nic are tax deductible and greatly appreciated.

Up To Date

We first heard about National Adoption Day two years ago as we sat in church and watched a short video about adoption and our responsibility to care for orphans. What happened next took my breath away. Our pastor invited everyone to stand who had adopted, been adopted, or was in the process of adopting. He also included foster parents in this call. More than half of the 250 or more people in the room stood!

My husband and I began attending this church only three months prior to this event. In the winter of 2009, DH experienced cutbacks at his job in California and we faced some big decisions. Unable to find a comparable job, he accepted a job in Iraq as a contractor using the skills he learned in the army. We felt that God was leading us to take some bold steps. We rented out our house in California and, while DH was in Iraq, I moved our household to the Kansas City, Missouri area where my mom lived and where we felt God calling us to go. After six months in Iraq, DH came to Missouri and quickly found a job. We knew we were where God put us, but it wasn’t clear yet why He put us here.

That Sunday when so many people stood left an impression on us. Here was a body of people that did not hesitate to make a difference in their world. We were also impressed that their world didn't stop at the edges of the small farming community where this church was located. Adoption wasn’t on our hearts, but we knew from that moment that this was where we wanted to be. Little did we know how much this church lived their faith, but we learned quickly. A few months later, our church put on “Love Out Loud” where we went into the community over the course of a weekend and loved hundreds of people by visiting nursing homes, babysitting children so single moms could have a day off, and performing all sorts of home improvement projects. Our family had the pleasure of going to a senior apartment complex to repaint the recreation room and remove some debris from their basement. It was a great day and again we were blown away by this church body and how they lived their faith.

As we got more involved in the church, we became friends with many of the families who were involved in adoptions in various ways. Our two older daughters began to feel a desire to adopt, but DH and I did not. We encouraged the girls to pray about it and we began to do the same because we always want to be open to where God is leading us. Two major factors that held us back were DH’s crazy work schedule and the small duplex that we called home.

In March of this year, our church announced the dates for the annual mission trip to Taiwan. DH eager to use his passport again and travel, signed up for the trip. We also decided to sign up our 11-year-old daughter. This trip was for the purpose of helping two churches put on an evangelistic play that our church does every year.  Our daughter has been integral in this play for the two years we have been in Missouri and we felt that it would be beneficial for her to participate. So the planning began, or so we thought.

On June 30^th, I received an email from one of the ladies at church saying that there was a little boy at Harmony Home, Taiwan that needed to be adopted. Her husband is on the Board of Directors for this children’s home and they had adopted from there earlier this year. When they heard of this 6-year-old boy, they thought of our family and how well he would fit in.  DH and I discussed it at length and talked to other friends who would add valuable insight. We decided to wait until the end of July when my husband went to Taiwan to make a decision.

As time progressed, one of the churches in Taiwan chose not to follow through with the program and that left a week of unscheduled time in Taiwan. Our church chose to fill that time with a camp for the children at Harmony Home.  DH was asked to be one of the leaders and so he and Annie spent an entire week with this boy whom we had been asked about. Within a day of meeting each other, the boy called my husband Papa and melted his heart. While in Taiwan, DH felt the concerns of his heart lifted as he continued to pray over the decision. By day three, my husband texted me and said he wanted to start the paperwork.

We knew that there were still obstacles to overcome, but if this was God's will, it would all work according to His plan. My husband was offered a new job at his company which allowed him to be home every evening. Somehow, we passed the home study even though we thought our home was too small. Also, God has provided the necessary funds at just the right time for each step in the process.

All the way through this we have prayed for God’s will and things have moved at an incredible pace. Our home study took only two weeks, my passport came in less than three weeks, our son’s Visa was approved in a few short weeks, and our judge has chosen to cut in half the wait time after the judgment is issued. It is progressing so fast that we are speechless at times, but we can clearly see God’s hands in all of this.

At this point, we are excited to put together a bedroom and toys for our little boy and prepare for the addition to our family. We expect to hear from our attorney in Taiwan any day telling us that we can come and get our son. We aren’t always sure how we will make this all work, but we know that we look forward to celebrating National Adoption Day in 2012 with a whole different perspective than we could have imagined when we first celebrated in 2009 with our newly-adopted church family.

If you'd like to find out what's going on with our adoption, you can go to https://www.facebook.com/flowersforafamily. Thank you for taking a few minutes to read our story. 

Happy Birthday Grandma

When I count my blessings, my grandma always makes my top ten list. When I was born, my mother was ill and unable to care for me.  My grandparents stepped in and helped raise me. My grandmother was patience, love, kindness and everything good wrapped into one person. She was always available for anyone who needed her or when a person just needed someone to listen.  After I left home, we would sometimes spend hours talking on the phone, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying and sometimes just saying nothing important at all.  No matter who was talking to her, she made them feel like they were the most important person to her.  She made me feel that way until I had kids.  It was at that point that I realized they stole my place in her heart.  I know that's not true, really her heart just got bigger whenever she added another person to it.  Most importantly, she loved the Lord and lived for Him daily. 

 

Grandma's High School Senior Picture

 

In 2009, she was diagnosed with cancer and succombed very quickly despite her excellent health.  This Wednesday is our second year to celebrate her birthday and the blessing that she was to us without being able to hug her. We miss her so much but keep her alive in our hearts and the way my husband and I raise our children.

 

Grandma and my middle daughter the year before Grandma died

 

The card below is inspired by my grandma's 18th birthday picture. I used the Sonoma papers and Sweet Moments stamp set from Close to my Heart - www.ctmh.com/aprilnourse. I also used the Art Philosophy cricut cartridge from Close to my Heart to cut the shapes before stamping.

 

Thank you for allowing me to share!

Visas, Court Dates and Christmas...Oh My!

There is so much to say about our adoption process...so much that I can barely wrap my head around everything!  I decided it would be best to simply update our status and get to the rest another time.  On the American side, we are waiting for the I600A to come back.  This is the preliminary application for the visa.  As part of this application, we must be fingerprinted again and all of our documentation up to now will be reviewed.  I'm not so sure how long this takes, but we have friends who are about a week ahead of us in this process so we watch them closely to know what's coming next.  On the Taiwan side, we just received a court date.  It isn't until December 2nd, which is later than we hoped.  Apparently a home study must be done on our son and his birth mother, which takes 45 days.  Our attorney is working to get this portion of the process hurried, but we don't know know if this will happen.  If the court date is December 2nd, we can loosely plan to bring home our son in early January, a month sooner than we had been told at the beginning of the process.

As much as we would like to have our son home for Christmas, January is good too.  Our calendar is packed through 2011 and there would be some serious logistical issues if we go to Taiwan before January (though we would joyfully make it work).  January will be a calmer time when we can devote more attention to a new family member and help him to adjust to our way of life.  From what I am told by several people (including my husband and daughter), our son is shy and slow to warm to new things.  Christmas in our home would quite possibly overwhelm him, though we have already made plans for a simpler celebration this year.  Chinese New Year is in January and that would be fun for all of us to celebrate together every year as a remembrance of our new son coming to our home.  As with the rest of the process, it will all happen in God's perfect timing.  Until then, we will be preparing our home for the arrival of a little boy.

Pricey Paper

The number of documents requested when doing an international adoption is amazing!  For our home study, we had to submit local background checks, birth certificates for all of our children, our marriage license, employer references, personal references, medical statements from our doctor, and financial statements.

Now the Taiwan court wants everything above, plus the adoption agreement, a copy of the Missouri adoption law, and copies of our passports.  To submit these documents, we have to jump through a series of hoops.

1. Collect all forms/documents (obviously).
2. Have the signature notarized.  If there is no signature to notarize, the notary must sign an affidavit verifying that the document is an original or exact copy of the original.  If there is a signature on the document, the person who signed the original document must also sign the affidavit. If the document is an official document from the county or state, you can skip this step.
3. Take all documents and affidavits to the Secretary of State.  They will authenticate the notary and attach a document with the state seal on the document.  Some states offer a discounted price for multiple documents authenticated at once.  We have moved a few times, so we had to mail one birth certificate to Kansas ($7.50 plus the cost of postage) and our marriage license and two other birth certificates to California ($20 per document plus postage).  Everything else can be done in Missouri ($10 per document with a maximum of $100).
4. Take all documents to the Taiwan Embassy (TECO) to be TECO stamped.  They charge per $15 per document, per translation.
5. Mail documents to attorney in Taiwan to be submitted to court.

That's some pricey paper!

Home Study

So much changes through the adoption process that it makes my head spin!  One day I think I have it all figured out and then the next day everything is different than what I thought.  One almost-constant aspect was the home study.  The big change was that we do not need to complete it for Taiwan as originally expected.  I'm not exactly sure why we don't need it, but I'm told it has something to do with our little boy's age.  In any case, I wasn't really sure what to expect and I would like to share our experience to help those behind us in the process.

We chose a social worker based on the recommendation of friends.  She has done several home studies for other church members and they went well, so we decided that she would meet our needs.  After contacting her, she emailed the following forms to complete:

• Employment References


• Educational References (which we didn't need because our kids are homeschooled)


• Medical Evaluations (for every member of the home)


• Income/Expense/Financial Worksheets


• An autobiography written by each of us addressing our upbringing, hobbies, lifestyle, etc.

In addition, we had to provide the following documents:

• Marriage Certificate


• Birth Certificates for every child currently in the home


• Criminal Record (fingerprinting by local law enforcement)


• Last 3 pay stubs from each of us

During the interview, she asked many questions.  She asked about our parenting styles, our marriage and relationship, how we handle disagreements, and how we would handle any special needs our child may have.  She then asked each of the girls about themselves and what they thought of us adopting.  After that, the social worker took a quick walk around the house and asked how we will accommodate our new family member.  She spent about 1 1/2 hours at the house and then asked us to complete a form for a child abuse background check.  With that complete, she left and let me know that we would hear back from her in a couple of weeks.

I was very relieved to have that part out of the way.